Strike

Written by Sherry Linebreak

Dear Celine Dion,

I regret to inform you that this sparkly metallic mini dress and super-shiny shoes does not make you look cutting edge or slinky. It just makes you look like a plastic mannequin in a Goodwill shop, wearing the dress that someone found in the back of their closet fifteen years after buying it and donated because they couldn’t remember why the hell they bought something so ugly in the first place.

Sorry. Keep trying. Or not.